First, what does HEAD mean?

It means taking the heavy end of things – especially the burden of ultimate responsibility.

Who makes the effort to bring peace when the atmosphere is charged with anger? That one is being head.

Another way of looking at headship: Who throws a tantrum when things go wrong, plans are upset, you’re late for an appointment – who makes the worst outburst? The other one is being head!

“But my spouse is making us late again!” Perhaps, but what is happening to you is more important.

Another common blunder occurs when one spouse walks into an explosion waiting to happen because of some prior tension that has one in its grip. What was thought to be a zone of safety and love turns out to be a lion’s den because of the hidden irritation.

Scripture clearly assigns the heavier responsibility to the husband. And it must always be remembered that headship is not primarily a matter of privileges but of responsibilities. Of a first concern is a wife’s well-being and quality of life.

I recall a painful lesson in this matter when as a young husband I retreated from my upset and angry wife to the “safety” of my living room chair where I sat looking at the newspaper but not reading anything. My wife stepped from the kitchen toward me and asked this poignant question: “Well, are you going to just sit there doing nothing or will you be the man and get us out of this mess?”

Who is head in your marriage?

P.S.   An additional word for husbands – Suppose somehow you come to a crisis in self-examination and feel humbly drawn to make restitution in hopes of a deeper reconciliation with your wife, saying, “Honey, God has shown me that I’ve been wrong. Please forgive me!” Now how will you react to her response? Here are two different possible scenarios:

1) “At last! I have tried to tell you this all along!” (Are you ready for that?) Or,

2) If she is more tender in her response will you disclose an ulterior motive by working things for a kind of loving response that you have in mind?

Sometimes rub her back without expecting anything special in return.